I am painfully aware of the social divisiveness and hatred peddled everywhere.
So are you. We sure see how powerful and damaging it is to tear things down, and bully others.
Today we all must ask what is the outcome we really want?
It all starts from the vision you have for the world and for yourself.
What has really struck me lately is behaviors which build social cohesion and social capital, and behaviors that promote social fragmentation and dilute personal integrity.
WHAT IS SOCIAL CAPITAL?
Bridging: Forming partnerships between groups
Bonding: Doing favors for each other
Connecting: Talking to others regularly, even strangers
Trust: Being a trustworthy ally in all contexts
Accountability: You are your word
When you have social capital you have ever widening circles of connections and resources.
People have an incredible possibility to extend their circles of support and access more resources and opportunities. The people I know with the most social capital come from all demographics. These are the people that live to make other people’s lives better, and in so doing they are constantly rewarded with friendliness and often incredible generosity.
Shout out to Julian who leads with exceptional curiosity and remembers to check in often out of pure love.
Shout out to Carl who is the hub of all friends and family.
Shout out to Jan who is everyone’s go to medical fairy because she has incredible healing skills, but mostly because everyone feels so incredibly better in her positive glow.
Shout out to Marla who has more to do with most people’s best day than anyone I know.
Shout out to Molly who has never missed setting up a meal train
Shout out to Caitlin who is an animal whisperer and is the most reliable person I know.
Shout out to Mario who goes above and beyond landscaping to give beauty a real home
Shout out to Melissa who constantly makes time to add true goodness to the world
Shout out to MaryAnne who has become the most ardent generous networker I know
Shout out to Stacy who lives in a generous and regenerative mindset
On the other hand I know folks who constantly feel like they are not getting enough from others, yet they are often the same folks who tend towards social fragmenting behaviors. They judge instead of appreciate, and feel righteous instead of curious. They complain much more than they compliment.
I want to just make a list of what I notice that builds cohesion and social capital
1-True Curiosity
2-Seeking and nurturing the best in people
3-Talking positively about people to their face, and behind their back
4-Being transparent in the moment about misunderstandings or unintentional hurts
5-Being accountable for being wrong, or harming another in any way
6-Open to and seeking constructive feedback
7-Promoting deserving others wherever you can
8-Promptly responding to texts, phone calls, and emails. or saying you will not being do so
9-Contributing, in all contexts, more than you are trying to capture
10-Giving 10 strategic appreciations a day
11- Interrupting derogatory and bigoted remarks with love and firmness
12- Making time to check in on folks you love and especially those who are having a hard time
ON THE OTHER HAND HERE ARE THE BEHAVIORS OF SOCIAL FRAGMENTING
1- Building a negative case about someone with other people, without talking to that person directly and expressing your resentments
2- Negatively gossiping about others
3- Being the social correctness police without any humility or personal accountability
4- Hugging to old and sour grievances until they fester into seething bitterness
5- Blowing off texts, emails, and not returning calls, and then needing others to quickly respond to you
6- Feeling like those with resources owe you because you do not have them
7- Believing you should be highly regarded although you have not paid the dues, or done the grunt work
8- Not keeping your word. Not following through.
9- Treating any person with rudeness and superiority
10- Refusing help for addictions or trauma and white knuckling it
11- Blame as a way of life. It is always something wrong with someone or something else.
12 -Lying as a way to curry favor or create popularity.
In the end one’s moral integrity, and how they treat others, will be their legacy.
This does not mean we will not make atrocious mistakes along the way, but if we are willing to learn, and be accountable, then the pain will count. I have certainly taken a master course in regrets that I have turned into wisdom.
I do not measure someone’s value based on status, money, or power. The people that truly matter to me are socially cohesive. They briskly walk an uplifting talk.
The benefits of building social capital and cohesion cannot be overstated.
Being a friend to someone without an agenda, and giving what you can to your community because you can, leads to some miracles of fulfillment you cannot predict.
The best part is you can up level at anytime from social fragmenting to social cohesion. We are not going back!
ARE YOU BUILDING SOCIAL CAPITAL AND SOCIAL COHESION?
LOVE Jennife
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These are solid gold nuggets to live by, we all need reminding, so thank you for sharing here! My first Substack read!❤️🙏🏼⭐️